Being a Teen Mom

I was in the middle of my Senior year in High School when I found out I was going to be a mom. That was the hardest thing I had ever went through, but today, I wouldn't change it for the world.

It was January of my Senior year in High School.
I was 18 years old. I had my whole life ahead of me. I had all these dreams planned out about going to college at Tarleton State University in Stephenville, TX. Having the best last year of High School. Completing my last year of FFA. And just doing everything "by the book".

Then things changed.
My whole world was completely turned upside down in just 2 minutes, as I saw the pregnancy test results showing positive.

I always wanted to be a mom growing up, but not this young.
Why me?

That day was a blur to me. All I remember was going to our small town Walmart. First going to grab a magazine, and then heading to the dreaded pregnancy test isle.
I went to self check out after grabbing the two items hoping that I wouldn't see anyone I knew and wrapping the magazine around the pregnancy test until I checked out. 

My stomach was in knots.

After paying for both items, I walked to the restrooms at the front of the store to take the pregnancy test. I immediately saw the two lines. I was pregnant.

Time stood still in that moment.
What was I going to tell my parents? Would they be disappointed? Would they abandon me? What are they going to think? What will my future look like now?
All these questions starting popping into my head.
I immediately began to cry. 
Hell, I was just a kid myself, how was I going to raise one? 

I tried to pull myself together the best I could in that moment so I could gather my things and get out of Walmart.
I didn't know where to go after I finally got to my truck.
I turned the key and headed down the road.
I didn't know where I was going, I just needed to drive.
Oddly enough, Kenny Chesney's song, There Goes My Life, came on the radio. 
Tears filled my eyes, I cried and just kept driving. 

I finally ended up at our town's AG barn where we kept all our show animals. I had a few friends that were there at the time. I had to tell someone. They came out to the parking lot, and I told them the news. We sat around talking and they hugged my neck trying to comfort my emotional self. I told my boyfriend at that time as well.

A few days later, my boyfriend and I were sitting at my mom's house and we knew we had to tell her. I spoke up and said, "mom, we need to talk to you in the garage", we walked to the garage and she said "what? you're pregnant?" we both nodded and I could just see the disappointment in her face.

I never wanted to let my parent's down. I wanted to do everything right and in order.
Graduate. Go to college. Get a good job. Get married. Start a family.

All she said to us at that point was "It's going to be so hard, especially at your age! I'll help you any way I can."

A few months passed.
The school year was coming to an end and my belly was getting bigger. The news leaked out that I was pregnant.

Instead of planning for college, making all these fun summer plans, I was working part time after school trying to save as much as I could and preparing for a baby that would be here in September. 
I walked across the stage and accepted my High School Diploma, pregnant belly and all June 4th 2010.

Things were rocky that summer between my boyfriend and I. We were off and on again and again. September came around and my due date was approaching fast. I was scared! I felt like I was in this all by myself. My friends had mainly disappeared by that time.

September 29th around 12 am my contractions began. I had no clue that's what was happening but I knew I was in pain. I kept trying to sleep it off. The pains continued to get worse but I didn't tell anyone. Around 11 am I called my mom, who was at work, to explain to her what I was experiencing. She had me time, the now what I know, contractions. They were close and she explained to me that I needed to go to the hospital and she would meet us there.

We got to the hospital a little after noon. Checked in to the labor and delivery floor after my mom arrived. It was all becoming so real. I was about to be a mom at 18. 

A nurse took us to the delivery room where I would be having my first child. 
She took me to the restroom for me to change into a gown and asked if I wanted to walk down the halls to help progress my labor a little, I agreed. 

All of a sudden my water broke. I was in the restroom all alone. I had no clue what had happened at the time. The nurse made her way back in to check on me. I was staring at the bathroom floor trying to understand what had happened. She looked at me and then looked at the floor. She grabbed me and said "Oh honey, your water just broke, let's get you to the bed."

The moment's after happened all too quickly. 
I got an epidural.
Soon enough I was at 10 cm and it was time to push.
After several good pushes, at 4:51 pm my son was born.
Rylan Bo made his entrance into this world weighing 7 lbs 4 oz and 19 3/4 inches long.
I did it. I became a mom. To a beautiful baby boy.

As the month's rushed by, I was trying to get this whole mom life down. It was definitely NOT easy! All the sleepless nights and pure exhaustion caught us with us. 
Rylan's dad and I ended up splitting up for good in the worst way possible. But it was for the best.

I was now a single mother, just trying to do the best I could.
We went through court. Set up visitations and child support.

Being a single mom was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but at the end of the day I got twice the amount of love. It was me and my son, against the world.
I couldn't have done it without my family!

Looking back at it now, ya I wish that it wouldn't have happened at such a young age, BUT it made me who I am today. Everything happens for a reason and I wouldn't change any of it. 

I couldn't imagine my life being any different than how it is now. I wouldn't want it to be. 
It turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

I am now married to the man of my dreams, who oddly enough had a son his senior year of High School as well, and we have a daughter of our own.
A perfectly blended family we are!

I hope wherever you are and whatever you are going through, just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you WILL get through this.

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